Faced With an Unintended Pregnancy?
Frequently Asked Questions
(Some of the following information was excerpted from Considering Abortion? published by the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice)
Am I being punished?
Pregnancy is not a punishment for what you have done or not done. Pregnancy is a natural occurrence. It is a great gift when it is planned, welcome and healthy. When it is unplanned, unwelcome, or will not have a healthy outcome, you have the responsibility of making the best decision you can. We do not believe that God wills that all pregnancies must continue. Consider that one out of every three pregnancies ends of its own accord, through miscarriage or some other natural process.
Will I be punished by God if I have an abortion?
If your decision to have an abortion comes from your heart and is made after deep reflection and after careful consideration of all options, then your action will be viewed as a moral and conscientious one, and with compassion by those who believe in a loving, forgiving, and just God.
You must make peace with your decision as the best one for you, and from it learn and grow in wisdom, compassion, and faith.
Should you choose abortion, adoption, or pregnancy?
Ultimately, only you can decide what is right for you. We believe that God has given us the gift of free will and blesses decisions that are made thoughtfully, with knowledge and faith.
Be assured that, no matter what you decide, you are a person who is loved and valued by God.
We believe that life is a gift from God. In thinking about an unwelcome pregnancy, you should consider your own life as well as the new life you might bring forth. Your physical health and emotional well-being are sacred concerns. Only you know if you are prepared for the responsibility of bringing another life into the world.
Who can help me make this decision?
Part of taking care of yourself is talking to someone you trust and feel will be non-judgmental – your husband or partner, a family member, a close friend, or member of the clergy. Consulting a healthcare professional about any health concerns you have is essential. It is wise to avoid people you feel will not be supportive.
What does the Bible say?
Sincere people of faith interpret passages of the Bible differently and disagree about what is right. For instance, the Bible does not mention the word “abortion.” Yet some people quote scripture to try to prove what they believe about abortion.
In our experience as clergy and counselors, people who respect you will help you come to a decision that is right for you. They will not talk to you as if their own views were the only moral views. Remember that you are a moral, responsible person, able to make your own decision.
As you know, there are no easy answers. You are the person who must weigh everything involved in this decision. Supportive clergy and lay religious leaders in your congregation and community, such as a religious educator, can help. You can ask friends, family, clinic staff, and others you know to help you find people to talk to who will understand your concerns. Please see the section on this website for All Options Clergy Counseling offered by the Michigan Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice.
The following questions may help you as you begin moving toward your decision.
How do I really feel about the possibility of becoming a parent?
- Am I physically and emotionally able to handle pregnancy and childbirth at this time?
- Can I provide the love and emotional support that a child needs?
- Am I thinking of parenting for the baby’s sake, or in hopes that the father will stay with me, or to have someone who needs me and whom I can love?
- How will I feel about the limits motherhood will put on my time and future plans? Will I have to quit school or my job?
- Can I count on any support from the father or his family? Can I count on any support from my own family?
How do I feel about adoption?
- Can I go through pregnancy and childbirth and then place my child for adoption?
- Could someone else give my child a better home than I can at this time in my life?
- Will the father be supportive of adoption? If not, how will I proceed?
How do I feel about having an abortion?
- Do I feel I have good reasons for having an abortion?
- Will the father support my decision to have an abortion? If not, how will I proceed? Is there anyone else who would be supportive?
- Will I have the emotional support that I need during and after the abortion?
- Will I feel regret or feel at peace about having an abortion? If I feel regret how can I handle it?
You can make this decision without embarrassment and without apology. An unwelcome pregnancy can cause great distress, but it can also mark the beginning of a more mature and spiritual life. May the God of love and compassion be with you as you make your decision.
What other resources can I use to make this decision?
See the section on this website for All Options Clergy Counseling offered by the Michigan Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice.
The Pregnancy Options Workbook contains information and exercises to help clarify what you believe.
What if I am not religious or belong to any denomination but have feelings of spirituality?
You may be interested in the following.
- Abortion: Finding Your Own Truth published by Corrintha Rebecca Bennett and the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
If you are considering abortion, you’re probably concerned about making the right decision. You might have spiritual concerns you want to address as you consider whether abortion is the right choice for you. Including your spirituality in your decision-making can enrich and enhance this experience in your life.
The exercises that follow will support you in identifying, exploring, and expressing your spirituality as you consider what to do.
What is spirituality?
People use many different names for their spirituality. One name is God. Others are Greater Truth, Higher Power, Voice Within, Inner Light, Loving Spirit, Holy Spirit, and Infinite Wisdom. In these exercises, we often refer to spirituality as Truth, or the voice of Truth.
Ask yourself these questions about your own spirituality. What name do I use when I call upon my spirituality? How do I define my spirituality? What role does spirituality play in my life?
Finding Your Voice of Truth
Your voice of Truth resides in a place within you that is wise and loving, and knows when you choose to honor it. When you step away from your Truth, you experience the pain of self-betrayal.
Your spirituality may speak to you from the non-verbal level of your awareness. Your dreams, imagination, and intuition are all resources which you can draw upon as you make your decision. Your spirituality also speaks to you through your physical reactions to thoughts, images, and actions. As you do these exercises, try listening to your body and noticing its reaction.
Find time and a quiet place where you will be uninterrupted for several minutes – perhaps in a park, a library, a church, or at home. Assume a comfortable position, close your eyes, and concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply. Each time you exhale, imagine relaxing a different part of your body (including your mind) until you feel entirely relaxed. Now place both hands over your heart and imagine or remember a time when you were feeling full of love, relaxed, and happy. Notice how your body responds. Where in your body do you experience sensations of warmth, relaxation, softening, and expansiveness? This is where your Truth resides. Listen to this place as you seek to discover what is right for you.
Listening to Your Truth
To discover your own unique Truth, you will want to explore all aspects of the question you face, in light of the current circumstances of your life. You will also want to look into your heart to understand your beliefs and feel what is most right for you.
Practice deep, slow breathing. Put aside all of your ideas about yourself. Imagine that you are getting to know yourself for the first time. Practice an open curiosity. By doing this, you can become more receptive to your Voice Within and gain easier access to your Greater Truth. Listen to the wise and loving place inside you as you ask yourself these questions:
- What Truths do I live by?
- What is sacred in my life?
- What are my beliefs about life and death?
- What do I know to be true about myself?
- What are my beliefs about abortion?
- For what reason do I believe this pregnancy occurred?
- For what reasons would I consider an abortion?
Honoring Your Truth
Life’s experiences can help us develop awareness and wisdom. Confronting problems offers us the possibility of opening the door to ourselves and embracing our Truth. Making a choice about your pregnancy can be a gift of learning and growth. It is an invitation for you to develop a larger vision of yourself and to practice compassion and loving kindness toward yourself.
Sit with yourself in silence and close your eyes. Breathe slowly and deeply. Allow your body to relax. Visualize sweeping your mind clean of distractions. Place both hands over your heart and invite your Loving Spirit to be with you and to guide you. Now visualize three doors in front of you.
- 1) See yourself walking through the first door and finding that you have decided to continue the pregnancy. What is your reaction to this decision? Breathe, release this image.
- 2) Now see yourself walking through the second door and finding that you have decided to have an abortion. What is your reaction to this decision? Breathe, release this image.
- 3) Now see yourself walking through the third door and finding that you have decided to continue the pregnancy and release the baby for adoption. What is your reaction to this decision? Breathe, release this image.
Ask yourself: Which decision best honors the Truth of who I am?
Choosing to honor your Truth is not an act of selfishness. It is an act of caring about yourself and about others.
Expressing your Spirituality
Rituals are important aids for expressing spirituality and can be used as bridges to connect you with your Truth. If honoring your Truth means choosing abortion, you may want to say goodbye to the pregnancy and send the spirit of that life on its way with love. You can use any of the ideas here.
Take time and make a space in your life to:
Reflect - Pray - Meditate - Visualize - Breathe and relax - Light a candle - Listen to music and feelings - Take yourself for a walk - Draw or paint – Speak to the life force within you and explain your decision - Open your heart to yourself.
The views expressed here are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect positions of RCRC member faith groups.
Is there counseling for post-abortion or post-pregnancy?
- See the section on this website for Michigan Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice All Options Clergy Counseling.
- Exhale: an after-abortion counseling hotline, 1-866 4 EXHALE, www.4exhale.org
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